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'Hall of shame' Ollie Pope gets -1/10 in England's Ashes player ratings

inews.co.uk NaN days ago

The England No 3 'cannot survive' after yet another dismal performance against Australia at Adelaide

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Gruesome is the only word for Pope’s two dismissals in Adelaide (Photo: Getty)

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ADELAIDE OVAL — England’s Ashes fate was sealed midway through the afternoon session on the final day in Adelaide as they fell 82 runs short of a world-record chase of 435.

After Ben Stokes asked for his players to show more “dog” on the eve of this third Test, they at least showed some fight to take this game the distance.

But it was an all-too familiar story for England’s loyal fans, whose wait for an Ashes series win will now extend to 12 years ahead of the 2027 series in the UK after this result put Australia 3-0 ahead with just two Tests left to play here.

Losing this series in just 11 days of cricket equalled an all-time low, with the teams of 2001 and 2002-03 the only others to lose an Ashes series of five or more five-day matches in such a short space of time.

Here The i Paper’s rates the players from the Adelaide Oval, with bonus dog ratings given Stokes’ pre-match rallying call.

Zak Crawley 6

Second-innings 85 shows he can knuckle down when required and has done okay in the series after a pair in the opening Test.

Dog rating: Great Dane

TOPSHOT - England batsman Zak Crawley plays a shot on the fourth day of the third Ashes cricket Test match between Australia and England at the Adelaide Oval in Adelaide on December 20, 2025. (Photo by William WEST / AFP via Getty Images) / --IMAGE RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE - STRICTLY NO COMMERCIAL USE--
Crawley produced arguably his best innings of the tour at the sixth attempt (Photo: AFP)

Ben Duckett 1

Just 34 runs in the match and averaging 16 this series. Poor second-innings dismissal with a weak prod off Pat Cummins to second slip.

Dog rating: Chihuahua

Ollie Pope -1

Another couple of gruesome dismissals to put in his Ashes hall of shame, with no fifties in 16 Ashes innings now. Cannot survive.

Dog rating: Shih-tzu

Joe Root 4

Scores of 19 and 39. Out twice to Cummins, who has now dismissed him 13 times in Tests. England needed more from their GOAT.

Dog rating: Golden Retriever

Harry Brook 5

Managed 75 runs across both innings but this was a microcosm of a series where he has not fulfilled his potential so far.

Dog rating: Basset Hound

Ben Stokes 6

Got a decent ball second innings and made 83 in the first. A warrior with the ball, despite just one wicket. Gave everything.

Dog rating: XL Bully

Jamie Smith 4

Meek behind the stumps and belatedly found form with the bat once the series was gone with a final-day 60 here before giving it away.

Dog rating: Basenji (known as the dog with no bark)

Will Jacks 4

Took three for 212 in this match but there’s sympathy for a part-time spinner being asked to bowl 39 overs. Final-day fight with bat.

Dog rating: Labrador

Brydon Carse 5

Keeps taking wickets, with another five here taking his series tally to 14. But lacks control, going at more than five an over this series.

Dog rating: Bulldog

Jofra Archer 8

England’s best bowler by a country mile and first-innings five-fer well deserved. Maiden Test fifty with the bat as well.

Dog rating: Greyhound

Josh Tongue 7

Five wickets in the match, all top seven batters, and went at under four an over. Why hasn’t he played before now?

Dog rating: Doberman

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